I am so done with Magic Potties.

Right around the time Kendall began potty training, automatic flushing toilets burst onto the scene. Now I'm sure they were around long before that but about 2005 was when they started getting popular in the Midwest and it seemed half the places you went had them. Now almost everywhere you go has them and I hate them! What seems like a good idea (I don't want to touch the disgusting handle either) has turned into a nightmare for me and my kids. Here are some reasons I hate what my kids call "magic potties"

1. They scare Kendall to death. To this day I have to stand behind her while she's on the potty and cover my hand over the sensor. It doesn't sound too bad until you do it while holding a baby in your arms and a 2 year old at bay with your foot.

2. They scared Kendall so bad in the beginning that she would scream when I would put her on one and everyone in approximately half a mile of the bathroom could here a child in a locked stall screaming "No, don't hurt me! Don't hurt me!"

3. They flush unexpectedly.

4. Or, they don't flush at all and I spend 5 minutes jumping up and down in the stall trying to get the censor to activate while women waiting wonder if I would please come out of the stall to dance and quit wasting their time.

5. They flush so loudly and quickly that it makes you want to jump straight up off of it and you feel like it is dismissing you from the stall whether you are done with your business or not.

6. It saves no water because it flushes five times while I'm trying to get toilet paper around the rim so my kid can sit on it.

So I ask that you join me in my passion against magic potties. Just learn to flush the dang toilet with your foot.

Happy Anniversary Baby Sister and Brother-in-Law

Almost one year ago today my sister and brother-in-law were married. I know this year has been a blessing to them as they have shared the first of many years together. So this poem (that I found on the Internet) I dedicate to them.


A Gift
You have a gift that’s sweet
And rare.
It’s just that you’re a perfect pair.

The years go by
With no regret
Because you are a perfect set.

What matter if this thought is sappy?
So long as both of you are happy.


Happy Anniversary! We love you!

The Year of the Dog

If you have ever had a toddler in your care for a large part of the day you will be familiar with the dog phase. The phase in a child's life when they decide they are an animal, usually a dog. Kendall went through this phase and Grace seems to be starting it. If the past is truly a predictor of the future then here are some things I will be expecting from Grace in the next few months.

1. Playing fetch
2. Barking and panting.
3. Crawling on all fours.
4. Yapping while jumping up.
5. Wanting to lick the milk out of the cereal bowl and trying to eat without utensils.
6. Tilting her head in a cute puppy way when I try to tell her she's been naughty.
7. Losing all sense of speech when I ask her to do something undesirable.
8. Licking my legs and wanting me to roll down the car window so she can stick her head out.

Sigh....can someone get me a toddler sized crate please?

How's Madaliene?

Kendall has been spending a few days with my parents in Owensboro. Every time I call to check on her she has the same question. How's Madaliene? Madaliene is the hamster. More specifically, Kendall's hamster. I knew she enjoyed Madaliene's company but this time apart from her furry friend is obviously having an effect on her because she talks about her all the time! Plus, how many ways can I answer the question "How's Madaliene?" She's fine, she's good, she misses you. Why can I say? That I only check on her when I drag the kids downstairs to play and even then I only remember to do it half of those times. That I finally got around to putting her in her exercise ball yesterday only to forget about her and find her asleep in the foyer 3 hours later? That we listen to her running on her wheel downstairs at night until one of us gets up to shut the basement door claiming "I can't stand to listen to that dumb wheel one more minute"? Nope, can say that stuff. So I will smile and sing Madaliene's praises when we talk and hope that Madaliene doesn't rat me out when Kendall gets home.

We're number 2!

After a couple of weeks of trying, Grace has done her um...business in the potty. Not just any business, but number 2 business! She has been so good at going number 1 in the potty. In fact, she quickly progressed to only wearing a diaper during nap and bedtime. However, still no number 2. Part of the problem was she prefers to do number 2 during nap time so I could never catch her in the act. Well today I just threw caution to the wind and put her down for her nap with her potty in her room and a bare bottom in the bed. Low and behold when I opened her door after nap time there she stood in the doorway with a full potty. She was so proud and I have to giggle thinking about her standing there with her present waiting for me to open the door. Luckily we were able to make it to the toilet without spillage. Oh, I spared you from a picture of Grace's accomplishment so you're welcome. Ha!

10 Things I Thought about at 5:15am.

Maddie has been gracing us with her morning talk at about 5:30 every morning for the past week. As I laid in bed and listened to her through the monitor I thought of only things people think about so early in the morning.

1. Why do we use a monitor?
2. Room darkening blinds and drapes are a sham.
3. I know that Byron is awake because he's not doing his sleep breathing.
4. Maybe if I lay here and do sleep breathing he will get up and check on Maddie.
5. I need to practice my sleep breathing because Byron just informed me "Your daughter's awake.". Duh.
6. I am not getting out of this bed until 6 o'clock. No matter what.
7. I need to pee.
8. Okay, I'm getting up to pee but then getting right back in bed.
9. Well, I'm already up out of bed. Isn't getting up once a day punishment enough?
10. I'm going to get Maddie up for the day.

Grace's First Love

Grace's first love has been with her since day one and it is her blanket. She affectionately refers to it as her "night-night". Night-night was made by my mom and Grace has been sleeping with it since she was born and dragging it around since she could crawl. She loves that thing. I decided on Monday it needed a good washing. It was dingy and stinking and I knew it could use some nice soak time in the washer followed by a strong spin and some nice drying time outside to whisk away the dingies. We made a big production of putting the night-night in the washing machine along with the soap and turning the washer on. As soon as I shut the lid, scream queen freak out! That child cried, and cried, and CRIED!! I tried her back up night-night (which Kendall calls her day-day). I tried cuddling, coaxing, keeping her busy, being tough, but that kid still would not give it up. She cried for an hour before I decided to just finish washing the stupid thing and then I handed it over to her half soaking wet. She was in heaven with her damp, but clean, night-night. I hope someone knows how to turn a blanket into a back pack because there is no way she will be able to go a whole day in Kindergarten without it.

I'm breaking down mom barriers.

Before I even start this post I want to acknowledge that Byron did not want me to post this story; probably for fear it would make me sound like I had lost it a little. He said if I must post it then at least remind people that we are in the country and there is no one to see our comings and goings while we are outside. So you have been informed and now on with the story.

I am always looking for ways to cut corners without cutting quality. Isn't everyone? Last night I was TIRED and the day wasn't near over. Byron was still at work and the rest of us we're having dinner on the deck. I fixed mashed potatoes which Maddie not only ate but also decided to use as a body scrub and hair conditioner. She was covered and Grace wasn't far behind her. As I sat and looked at my mashed potato glazed babies I remembered something Kendall had said just a few hours before. She had been complaining she didn't want to play in the baby pool I had set up on the deck because the water was as warm as bath water. Hmmm...I looked over at the baby pool. I looked back at mashed potato Maddie. Pool..Maddie..Pool..Maddie. Well it didn't take a genius to know the easy way out of this situation. I went back into the house and brought out towels and baby soap. I striped down those kids right there in front of God and anyone else who was looking on and plopped them right down into that baby pool. There were little soapy bottoms everywhere and they had a great time doing it. I bathed them, wrapped them up and sat them in patio chairs while I cleaned the table by spraying it with the hose. I think I just might put two big tubs out there for laundry and dishes and we may never enter the house again. Think of all the time I'll save on cleaning the house if we only sleep in it.

Happy 4th!

I hope everyone had a great holiday weekend. The Hall gals were excited because we got to have daddy to ourselves for two whole days! The actual 4th here in Iowa was a little cold and rainy. Okay a lot cold and rainy and it put a damper on some of our plans. However Sunday was a much better day and we got to swim, eat outside on our deck, and just do the summer thing. Daddy practically smoked up the whole neighborhood with some new hickory chips he bought for the grill but they sure made the burgers taste good. I think the girl's favorite part was when Byron spent after dinner on Saturday lighting up "snakes" (you know, the old fashion fireworks that turn into an ash tube that looks like a snake). Every time he lit one Grace would scream "Snake, snake!!" We never could decide if she thought it was a real snake.

Crack head

I have to share this really quick. We are at the breakfast table and the kids are doing funny things aka being themselves. I say "You girls crack me up." to which Kendall replies, "That's because I'm a crackhead!"