Texas Hold Em....Mommy Style

I've been putting on my poker face a lot lately with my oldest. She has been increasingly showing independence by informing me what she is NOT going to do. So when all the girls woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning I was not surprised to hear Kendall inform me that she was not going to eat breakfast. Then she was not going outside to play with the rest of us. She was not going to brush her teeth, etc. My response to these is usually, "That's your choice. It's not the choice I would make because I would (fill in the blank here). You'll need to live with the consequences of that." In my head I'm thinking, "Fine. Go hungry, get bored, and get cavities." But that's not what I say (usually). By lunch time I had about enough of listening to the complaining, whining, and crying. I announced that we were going to town for lunch to get out of this funk everyone was in. Guess who informed me they were not going? It went something like this.

Me: "Get your shoes on. We're going into town."
K: "I'm not going to town. I'm staying here."
Me: I'll meet you in the van. Don't forget to shut the door on your way out."

I then scoop up the babies and head out the door. I hear Kendall shut the door behind me but when I turn around I realize she's still in the house. Groan. I put the babies in the van and get in the driver's seat to start it up. As soon as I turn the engine over Kendall comes flying out of the house with a look of panic on her face. "Good," I thought. "Let her think I might leave without her." I was driving maybe two minutes when a magic marker came flying up to the front of the van. I cannot believe that child just threw something in the van. I put on the brakes right in the middle of the road and everything is dead quiet. I know every one's eyes are on the back of my head. What's mom gonna do? I've certainly got some choices. I could:

A) Give a lecture about the dangers of throwing things at the driver
B) Drag Kendall out and give her a good spanking
C) Confiscate the markers

I didn't even turn around. I just reached down, picked up the marker, rolled down my window, and tossed it out into the road. Four pairs of eyes watched a marker fly through the air, hit the side of the road, and roll into the ditch. I rolled up the window and just sat there for a few seconds. I felt like I should make a statement after throwing something out the window. Finally I said, "Anything that gets thrown up here will get thrown out my window." Then I put the van in drive and went on. It was stone silence all the way to town; which was nice. That was a few hours ago and nothing has been said about the marker which only means one thing; I won that hand of poker.

Why I will be investing in motion sickness pills in the future

I am a lover of amusement parks. Make it faster, higher, and spin more per second and I am hooked. I will ride anything once and most things multiple times. That's why I was so excited to take Kendall to her first real amusement park; Holiday World of Santa Clause, IN. I have loved this park since a kid. It's clean, efficient, and has a great staff. Since I have been in baby birthing mode for the past few years I have not had the opportunity to ride anything but my mini van or the occasional carousal while standing next to a toddler. Kendall has just broke the height barrier to get off the kiddie rides and start riding some of the fun stuff. We were having a great time as we rode the scrambler, the tilt-o-whirl, and the carousal (with me actually riding next to her instead of standing next to the horse). Then came the mother load. She wanted to ride the Spider. If you don't know what the Spider is then think back to the county fair when you were a kid. Remember the black twirly thing with spinning carts on top that had the big light up ball in the middle? That's the spider. I wasn't so sure about that ride for a newbie but she had done well on all the others so we went for it. Big mistake! I will be the first to admit I did not listen well in high school physics. I never really understand how to make the carts spin faster. I do know that if things aren't going your way on a ride, then you should stop pulling on whatever bar you're pulling. We got going on the spider and I thought we might be the first ones to spin our cart right off the arm it was attached to. We were spinning and spinning and Kendall is screaming and screaming "Make it stop! Make it stop! I can't take it!" I'm freaking out internally because I'm feeling what she's screaming. I throw my arm across her and pry her hands off the bars thinking it will slow us down. No go. I'm saying in the most calm voice I can muster right before our death, "It's okay. It's just a ride. It will be over soon. I've got you." I told her to look down at her feet and don't look up. I mean, that's what I was doing. Finally the ride ends and I'm shaking so bad from spinning that I can barely exit the ride. I'm thinking Kendall is going to demand we go home and she never wants to set foot in a amusement park again. We both limp out the exit and try to calm our nerves by sitting on a bench watching other victims of the Spider. Kendall pipes up, "I don't want to ride it again, but it really wasn't that bad. I just think I want to be a little older. Maybe I'll try again next year." That's fine, but you are going to have to sucker your dad into riding with you because I have officially become too old to ride stuff like this.

Oh dear...the odor.

The Halls have been over indulging in the wonderful fresh fruits and vegetables that summer time bring to our tables. My kids have been chowing down on peaches, berries, tomatoes, green beans and especially CORN ON THE COB. Yummy! However there is a downside to all that healthy good food. The downside is usually found in Madison's diaper. It starts first thing in the morning when I go to get her up. I stand outside her door and take a few deep breaths because I know what will greet my nose when I open her door. Sure enough an odor strong enough to drive terrorists out of their fox holes hits me as soon as I enter the room. Ugh!!! There's Maddie standing in her crib grinning from ear to ear. From the minute that door opens it is almost an Olympic event to get her up, changed, and the diaper out the back door before the smell takes over the house. Then it's back to her room to open her window so her room can air out before nap time. Of course I won't even go into the contents of the diaper but I will say Kendall commented once that it looked like Maddie's diaper had been sprinkled with the hamster's food. I think we might have to lay off the extra helpings of fruits and veggies for a little while or I'm going to need to invest in a ventilation system for the nursery.

Life is a Sticom

One of my favorite sitcom shows was "Everybody Loves Raymond". People can always come together over problems with spouses, in-laws, and just life in general. We are living out an episode of that show at the Hall house. Remember the episode when Debra left the suitcase at the bottom of the stairs and her and Ray began an unspoken battle of who would put it away? There is currently two suitcases sitting on our bedroom floor that have been waiting to be put in the top of the closet for 4 days. It is obvious to me that Byron should be the one to lift up awkward heavy things and put them away. Nothing of this sort is obvious to him. I don't post this to call out Byron personally. I would never do that. It's ALL men. Byron is no different than every male on the planet. Men just don't notice ANYTHING!! I will get up to go to the bathroom and on the way pick up/put away/throw out 20 things that I come across on the way to and from the bathroom. When a man gets up to go to the bathroom; he just goes to the bathroom. He doesn't see the dirty dish, the toy on the floor, or the junk mail that needs to go in the trash. I also notice a kid who is hurt, tired, thirsty, uncomfortable or needs assistance before the tell me what's going on. However, the girls will say "Daddy" 20 times before Byron says "Huh?" Like I said, it's not his fault. It's the way men are made. When I complain to Byron that he's not proactive enough his response is that I never give him a chance. I always jump in and do it before he can blink. He's probably right. It's my nature. I'm a worker bee. He comes up with the ideas and I put them into action. But this time I'm giving him a chance. Who will break first? Will Byron notice the suitcases and take initiative to put them away? (or read this blog post?) or will I give in and put them away myself to feed my need for organization? Who knows? Maybe they will just sit there until we go somewhere again. I'll keep you blogposted.

The Dance of the School Supplies

Let me start by saying I'm sorry. Really, I had no idea. I didn't know that when I made school supply lists as a teacher that I was accidentally driving parents insane. I tried to make them easy but looking back I see that I was too demanding. I promise that I have learned first hand from my mistakes through my own child's school supply list. Who would think that this would be so hard? It's only crayons, folders, pencils, etc. Yet there I was sweating it out in the Walmart school supply isles. Elbowing up against other moms trying to get the last red folder with no prongs and bottom pockets. Hovering on the bottom of the shelf looking for pink erasers and yellow #2 pencils. Finding WASHABLE crayola markers (not the regular kind, heavens no). Finding 16 pack crayons even though the 24 pack are $.25 and in abundance while the 16 pack are $1.16 and way in the back of the store. Then there's the odd ball stuff that you tromp all over the store to get. Clorox wipes, sandwich baggies, large bottles of Jim Beam (okay maybe I made that last one up). How am I suppose to do this for 3 kids when I can barely manage for one? Every year they send out a little survey that says "Would you be willing to pay $1-2 extra to have all your child's school supplies purchased and waiting for your child at school?" Every time I check yes. So I want to know where is it??? What psycho mother is not checking the yes box? If you don't start checking yes then you better pray I don't find you in the Walmart school supply isle.