The Playground vs. My Bar of Soap

Whenever my kids use a bad word they get a bar of soap in their mouth. I used to use Johnson's baby soap but I've moved up to Ivory. For anyone reading this and thinking "Hey, I might start using soap in my kid's mouth!" let me warn you. With all the anti-bacterial soaps on the market you need to be careful what you choose. Choose one that says it is NOT harmful to ingest. Contrary to what Ralphie from Christmas Story thinks, I've never known anyone who has gone blind from soap in the mouth. I rarely use my bar of soap. At our house you get a soap bar in the mouth if you:

1. Say a bad word.

2. Talk back to a parent.

3. Talk bad about someone else. ( I know, there's not enough soap on the shelves right?)

Of course soap is the last resort after reminders and warnings that the soap is coming out. It usually only takes the final soap warning to put a stop to it. At our house bad words are: stupid, dumb, stupidhead, crap, and freakin. Being the good mother I am, I taught the kids the last two words myself. Yes, I need the bar of soap in my own mouth from time to time. Why the soap story? Last night Kendall and I were laying on my bed watching TV and they said a bad word on TV (of course). Here's our conversation.

Kendall "Oh, he said the B word (butt)"

Me: "Yes, that's a bad one"

Kendall "The F word is also a bad word"

Me: (trying to act like I'm not flipping out) "What's the F word Kendall?"

Kendall: "I don't know. But it's as bad as the SH word."
Me: "What's the SH word?"
Kendall: "I don't know. Don't you know?"

Me: "Yes."

Kendall: "Well, don't say it."
Me: "I won't. Who taught you about the F word and SH word?"

Kendall: "The kids at school. They don't know the bad words, but they sure know what they start with."